I've been thinking a lot lately about the changes i need to make in my life, in specific my eating habits. Since portion control is the issue at hand when speaking of what my eating will mostly focus on post surgery, i've specifically thought about it like the "last supper". Today for instance, Thanksgiving. Stuffing oneself with turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and desserts. Next year it just won't be an option. You'd think i'd be sad about that, but truthfully i'm actually looking forward to it. When it's no longer an option to overeat i've totally taken charge, i can't fall back, i can't choose to be indulgent, it just isn't an option. I have been thinking of it like other things, for instance right now running a marathon is just not an option, however you never know a couple years from now.....Overeating will no longer be an option for me, but there will be so many other options that open up because of it, isn't that fabulous!
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Weight Loss
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Line up of events...
Okay so i found out some details on what is going to be required for my surgery to be approved. I have to have 6 months of physician follow ups, which is apparently very comman with insurance companies now. I also have to have lots and lots of test and some evaluations. SO.....
Here's the first few steps -
Monday 11/16 - go to primary care dr. for eval and official referral to program. I've never really had a "primary care dr" i always just saw Niki, and i hadn't worked out what i was going to do yet so, Harrisville clinic (part of the hospital) was kind enough to see me and help me out.
December 4th - I go back to Saranac Lake to meet with the nurse pracitioner to start the checklist of labs/xrays and other tests that will need to be done. As well as figure out what other evalutions i will need.
So here we go.....
Here's the first few steps -
Monday 11/16 - go to primary care dr. for eval and official referral to program. I've never really had a "primary care dr" i always just saw Niki, and i hadn't worked out what i was going to do yet so, Harrisville clinic (part of the hospital) was kind enough to see me and help me out.
December 4th - I go back to Saranac Lake to meet with the nurse pracitioner to start the checklist of labs/xrays and other tests that will need to be done. As well as figure out what other evalutions i will need.
So here we go.....
First meeting...
John and I trucked ourselves up to Saranac Lake last night to Adirondack Medical Center, to hear about their program and meet with Dr. Hill. He was fantastic. Very down to earth, very patient oriented. Their program is about "you" not about about what they want to do. They do all three "major" types of gastric bypass.
The facility is very clean and modern, but very homey feeling. When you walk in the lobby it's large, comfortable and heck there's even a canoe. Seriously i know it sounds weird but for me the way a facility looks is a huge reflection of how they will treat you. The floors were gleaming. When you used the bathroom, no dirt in the corners & cracks. I realize i work for Carthage Hospital and i had my daughter there and all but i see the difference in other facilities in their cleanliness, we'll leave it at that.
Dr. Hill appears to be about 40ish, very laid back attitude, funny, personable. When he answers a question he looks you in the face, he really makes you comfortable, makes you feel he totally understands and cares.
There was every sort of "kind" of person there, older, younger, pretty large, not so big, etc. I got a lot of my questions answers and now i have to start working on steps to see if i can get my insurance to cover this surgery. The staff is pretty confident that most insurance will cover surgery, but it's a matter of what requirements your specific plan might have. So that's my mission today, i have to call them, get some specifics then call the office back and work out some details. I hope to go back soon to get the medical parts of what i need to do started.
The facility is very clean and modern, but very homey feeling. When you walk in the lobby it's large, comfortable and heck there's even a canoe. Seriously i know it sounds weird but for me the way a facility looks is a huge reflection of how they will treat you. The floors were gleaming. When you used the bathroom, no dirt in the corners & cracks. I realize i work for Carthage Hospital and i had my daughter there and all but i see the difference in other facilities in their cleanliness, we'll leave it at that.
Dr. Hill appears to be about 40ish, very laid back attitude, funny, personable. When he answers a question he looks you in the face, he really makes you comfortable, makes you feel he totally understands and cares.
There was every sort of "kind" of person there, older, younger, pretty large, not so big, etc. I got a lot of my questions answers and now i have to start working on steps to see if i can get my insurance to cover this surgery. The staff is pretty confident that most insurance will cover surgery, but it's a matter of what requirements your specific plan might have. So that's my mission today, i have to call them, get some specifics then call the office back and work out some details. I hope to go back soon to get the medical parts of what i need to do started.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Time to let my skinny girl out...
Well the title pretty much sums it up. I have been seriously overweight for most of my life. I have always had this skinny girl living inside of me, she wanted to come out. She wanted to wear pretty clothes, be popular, participate in sports and all kinds of other really awesome fun things. But she always was hidden inside my fat, socially awkward, emotionally & physically exhausted self. It's time for her to come out.
This blog is private and can only be viewed by those i have invited. I'll tell you why each of you is here because it's important for you to know why i have chosen you for support during my upcoming journey (more about that in a minute).
John - I want you here to read and support me, because i know no matter what you will love me. Fat or thin you will love me. I always want you here to read the emotions that I sometimes cannot verbalize to you, i want you to know what i am feeling/thinking even if i can't say it outloud. Thank you for always loving me, despite my negative qualities, that's real love!
Mom - for obvious reasons you are here. I love you and respect you and I know you will help remind me of how much Dad wanted this for all of us. How much he loved us and wanted us all to be healthy. I hope i can count on you for lots of long walks and moral support when my eating options are getting the best of me.
Jody & Diana - I count on both of you for support. You are two of my best friends and i know that no matter what you'll have an ear to lend and a shoulder to cry on. I thank you for that.
Niki & Jodi H. - You are the best medical providers i have EVER had. I never would have made it though my pregnancy without you, okay i would have made it, but i wouldn't have enjoyed it as much or stayed as sane as i did :-) I consider you both dear friends and count on your frank honesty regarding my health and well being. I know both of you will be here to support me and do anything you can to help along they way and I so appreciate that.
Tracey - I asked you to be here because you are my no nonsense, down to earth, in your face friend. I can count on you to always be 100% honest when i ask your opinion. You will never sugar coat things, or tell me what i want to hear. I can count on you for a good laugh when i need it to, noone can tell a story like you!
Andrea - I want you here because you've been there and done that and I'm gonna need your advice a lot i am sure.
And on that note, you are probably wondering, so what is she talking about? Well here's the thing. For about 2 months now i have been seriously considering having gastric bypass surgery. Some of you already know this, but some of you don't. I go tomorrow 11/10 for my first step in this process. Thus, i have started a blog to document my journey. As of now it is not a public blog, only those people i have listed can see it/read it (i hope anyway that i set it up right). Right now i'm just not comfortable having this blog be totally public, or letting everyone in my life read it, maybe later.
Having surgery to obtain weight loss was always something i told myself i would NEVER ever do. But i guess it's true you should "never say never". I've been doing a lot of research, found a doctor that participates with my insurance and am going to a meeting tomorrow night to start the process of seeing how i go about qualifying with my insurance company for coverage.
I am doing this for me first, my daughter second, and my dad third. I need to be the person i want to be. I need to be the mom Faith NEEDS me to be. And i need to honor my father's dying request that I "lose the damn weight, so you don't end up like me". I loved my dad, we had a very special relationship, my mom can attest to the fact that it was above and beyond the normal "daddy/daughter" relationship. He was my best friend and losing him was the hardest thing i've ever done. I need to use that sadness for a positive gain and honor him in this way, i know how thrilled he would be for me taking charge and making this weight loss happen. But even moreso than that, i need to do this for myself and my family. So i will be here for them. So i can be the kind of family that does stuff together and not the kind that leaves "fat out of shape mom behind", I do not want my daughter standing next to my grave too soon, i want to be on this earth as long as possible and being 370 lbs isn't gonna let that happen.
There it's out there, i weight 370 lbs. For a long time i weighed right around 350. After my pregnancy with Faith i was down to about 330-335. But now i'm at an all time high of 370 and it scares the hell out of me.......
This blog is private and can only be viewed by those i have invited. I'll tell you why each of you is here because it's important for you to know why i have chosen you for support during my upcoming journey (more about that in a minute).
John - I want you here to read and support me, because i know no matter what you will love me. Fat or thin you will love me. I always want you here to read the emotions that I sometimes cannot verbalize to you, i want you to know what i am feeling/thinking even if i can't say it outloud. Thank you for always loving me, despite my negative qualities, that's real love!
Mom - for obvious reasons you are here. I love you and respect you and I know you will help remind me of how much Dad wanted this for all of us. How much he loved us and wanted us all to be healthy. I hope i can count on you for lots of long walks and moral support when my eating options are getting the best of me.
Jody & Diana - I count on both of you for support. You are two of my best friends and i know that no matter what you'll have an ear to lend and a shoulder to cry on. I thank you for that.
Niki & Jodi H. - You are the best medical providers i have EVER had. I never would have made it though my pregnancy without you, okay i would have made it, but i wouldn't have enjoyed it as much or stayed as sane as i did :-) I consider you both dear friends and count on your frank honesty regarding my health and well being. I know both of you will be here to support me and do anything you can to help along they way and I so appreciate that.
Tracey - I asked you to be here because you are my no nonsense, down to earth, in your face friend. I can count on you to always be 100% honest when i ask your opinion. You will never sugar coat things, or tell me what i want to hear. I can count on you for a good laugh when i need it to, noone can tell a story like you!
Andrea - I want you here because you've been there and done that and I'm gonna need your advice a lot i am sure.
And on that note, you are probably wondering, so what is she talking about? Well here's the thing. For about 2 months now i have been seriously considering having gastric bypass surgery. Some of you already know this, but some of you don't. I go tomorrow 11/10 for my first step in this process. Thus, i have started a blog to document my journey. As of now it is not a public blog, only those people i have listed can see it/read it (i hope anyway that i set it up right). Right now i'm just not comfortable having this blog be totally public, or letting everyone in my life read it, maybe later.
Having surgery to obtain weight loss was always something i told myself i would NEVER ever do. But i guess it's true you should "never say never". I've been doing a lot of research, found a doctor that participates with my insurance and am going to a meeting tomorrow night to start the process of seeing how i go about qualifying with my insurance company for coverage.
I am doing this for me first, my daughter second, and my dad third. I need to be the person i want to be. I need to be the mom Faith NEEDS me to be. And i need to honor my father's dying request that I "lose the damn weight, so you don't end up like me". I loved my dad, we had a very special relationship, my mom can attest to the fact that it was above and beyond the normal "daddy/daughter" relationship. He was my best friend and losing him was the hardest thing i've ever done. I need to use that sadness for a positive gain and honor him in this way, i know how thrilled he would be for me taking charge and making this weight loss happen. But even moreso than that, i need to do this for myself and my family. So i will be here for them. So i can be the kind of family that does stuff together and not the kind that leaves "fat out of shape mom behind", I do not want my daughter standing next to my grave too soon, i want to be on this earth as long as possible and being 370 lbs isn't gonna let that happen.
There it's out there, i weight 370 lbs. For a long time i weighed right around 350. After my pregnancy with Faith i was down to about 330-335. But now i'm at an all time high of 370 and it scares the hell out of me.......
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